Cress was 22 years old.. AND on July 21, 1998 ....... The
day my heart stopped beating with life that morning I left the hospital!!
And here I am, how can I write something every breath Cress took was mine, every
second of his life and time was mine. I can't even explain what giving birth to
Cress did to me !!! Only a single mother - with one child - and with a Son who
has been taken from her can even start to understand what's happened to my inner
being, and to say yes for what is impossible - not really as you will see, what
we teach our children is joy and undivided love, friendship, and kindness,
* I gave all these to my son..
* I tried to teach Cress:
* To laugh with, sometimes be laughed at,
* To cry is human when we feel pain,
* To talk too and with,
* To walk, run and swim,
* To play and have fun,
* To teach to feel,
* To give love, compassion and understanding,
* To be a friend and receive friendship,
* The joy of meeting people, working with and would meet in years to come,
* To remember being polite and a gentleman,
* To give because he wanted too, needs to and sometimes expected too,
* To do laundry, cooking and washing the dishes (even if I waited until he left the kitchen and did them over again) have I used kind, and not to be selfish.
* To keep his room clean..........
I did not teach these horrors of life, I'm so glad I didn't, because how can and would you explain what horror is to your only son?
*Your only son being on life support,
*Giving permission for you son's life support to be turned off!
*To sign the "GIFT OF LIFE" he chose to give to others!
*To see the horror of the accident when you drive to the hospital!
*To see your son's broken body, and know you can't mend it!
*To see the blood on his face, hair and body!
*To wipe away the blood and life it self your son's... and be told it won't stop!
*Seeing the doctors and nurses touch him not knowing if they are hurting him, yet you feel and know they are!
*To dry tears away even if your told he is not able to cry!
*To smell his hair and try to separate the smell of his blood and medicine!
*To touch his swollen hands, face and body!
*To know you can not take the bobo's away with your kisses..
*To know some has violated your son's life!
*Violated his mothers right to touch him again!
*To take from a mother the right to smell, touch, his things at home!
*To pick and iron his clothes he'll wear that last day and never wear again! His favorite.. for the casket.. for the last time.. *"I BROUGHT
LIFE TO THIS CHILD OF MINE AND NOW I CAN NOT HELP HIM"
In some way's no one will ever know what love, passion, joy, beauty, understanding, kindness, giving and softness Cress had in him - except one
(I am her Cress's ma). I can only try to open a tiny hole of 22 years I shared with Cress, my son and the soul of my life..
*I tried not to teach him what missing was *To hear your son walk up the
*To Hear his keys in the lock
*To see his hair in the bathroom sink
*To have hair gel on the mirror
*To have the dirty plates in his room
*To missing those cute smile and sad faces
*To have dirt all over the bar of soap and sink and towel.....
*To have to put the toilet seat down
*To smell his dirty clothes
*To smell his gym shoes
*The half left cans of pop
*The pizza man at 2am ringing the doorbell
*The boom box playing to loud
*Staying up all night playing video games *To have the phone ring off the hook
*To not being able to use the phone for 5 hours
*The different girls and not remembering the names..
I could keep going on, I'll miss those hugs (these are special to me) the special wet kiss Cress gave me always on my right cheek (only he could and would give me) the laughter (only his rings in my ears) saying "SEE YOU LATER MOM AND BE CAREFUL.." and most of all "I LOVE YOU MOM" no matter who Cress was with, or where. On Saturday we had gone looking for Dad-de-O.. Cress dog.. We never found him.. when I took Cress back home and went over to my girlfriends for lunch..
These are the last words I hard from my life (SON) was Saturday July 18, 1998 "I LOVE YOU MOM" BE CAREFUL" " AND I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER" I got my wet kiss on my right cheek only my son could do, I did get to tell my son " I LOVE YOU" and he got one of my kisses too!!!!!!!!! and we gave each other a hug........... these are some of the seconds in Cress's life that I will share, these are to tell you about, to open a door to what a beautiful person (SON) I brought into this world and into manhood with little of life's pain until now..
Violet - Cress's ma