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David Mitchell Lowther                          William Henry Lowther III
July 1, 1949 -- December 28, 1997           July l, 1949 -- June 13, 1998

                                                                                

Where to begin...... My name is Debbie.  I live in North Conway, N.H. This is dedicated to my brothers, identical twins, Billy and David. May they rest in PEACE.

    On Nov. 5th 1997, I was at work and received a phone call from my sister-in-law, Anna (my brother Billy's wife). She told me that my brother David was in the hospital with lung cancer. She gave me the phone number and I called David and he told me that he had 3 spots on his lung. I told him that Billy and I were on our way. (We live 4 hours away). What a long drive. We were so scared. All I could think was no way--not David, he's only 49--not cancer. scan3.jpg (16407 bytes)Billy and he are identical twins, so it was even harder on him. We stayed with David for a few days and planned to go back as soon as we could. It was so hard seeing my brother just laying in a hospital bed, he was so scared. Doctors weren't saying much, they called in specialists, etc., had to run more tests. we went back on Sunday the 9th. David looked awful. We were also scared. He was in a lot of pain. On Tues., I was present when the Doctor told us he has lung cancer, he was in stage 4 there was no hope. I was in shock. No---not David....he can't die he's only 49....not my brother. Parents are supposed to die first(my parents are still living). We all prepare ourselves for a death of a parent, but a sibling OK-so what do we do? We want to take care of him, help him, love him, take his pain away. Billy took care of him until the end.
I was back and forth as much as I could to help.scan4.jpg (53621 bytes) My parents came up from Florida to see him. David came home from the hospital for awhile, but had to go back, because the cancer had gone to his brain. I was with him that day. This was not my brother one minute he made no sense at all and the next, he would talk about us growing up. I walked him to the car kissed him and told him I loved him and he kissed me on the cheek and said I love you, too. That's the last time I saw him. Once again, I had to get home. Billy stayed, took care of his apartment and even went to work for David every day. The day after Christmas David went home, he so wanted to die at home. On Sunday morning, around 8.30 am, he died in Billy's arms..Ok, so a few days later we bury him and then we try to go on with our lives. It's not easy. Billy can't handle it. The bond between indenticle twins is incredible. Billy felt part of him had died. We walk around numb and cold and empty, but we function as best we can. I make some positive changes in my life. Career change, move to a bigger apartment, have a complete physical. I get real healthy, lose 40 lbs., quit drinking, eat real healthy, but still miss David so much. Each day gets a bit easier. Billy, on the other hand, can't seem to move on. He works all week and rock climbs all weekend and works in his yard (he's a landscaper, as was David). He's got the prettiest yard in North Conway. I start feeling guilty because my pain is easing. But, I know that Billy has to deal with it in his own way.

scan4.jpg (53621 bytes)    On June 4th 1998, Anna calls me and tells me that Billy took a fall and was in Beth Israel hospital in Boston. She and her daughter leave right away. I follow with my husband a few hours later. Another long drive. We were told he had trauma to the brain and some bleeding. I can't do this--not Billy. They say he fell out of a tree--how can this happen.. he can climb any cliff in the world. We get there, he's in ICU, unconscious. That was a Thursday, he never woke up. He died 10 days later. I never left. Anna and l stayed the whole time. We slept wherever we could lay our head, took turns getting food, took turns calling family and sat with Billy whenever we could. Each day I thought I would go home, but I couldn't leave him. Not Billy.. .1 can't go through this again I'm still grieving for David. On Thursday June 11th, 6 am, I walked into his room and knew he was dying. We called everyone. My parents came from Florida, my husband came, Billy's children, Anna's brother from Arizona. We leaned on each other. We were told Billy was totally healthy, he had a strong heart, his lungs and liver were fine, but there was too much trauma to the brain. All medication had to be gone from his system for him to be declared brain dead. We stayed 1 more night. ...I think I slept 1 hour if that. On Friday, we all said our good-byes and came back to North Conway. Billy died at noon Saturday June 13th. It rained so heavy that day and for the next 5 days. Billy was watering his gardens' So here we go again--we walk around numb. We bury him on Tuesday. I picked out a nice plot that looks over at the ledge he used to climb. So here I am, a year after David's death and 6 months after Billy's. I'm still skinny, still sober and still healthy but, oh so cold and numb and empty. It has changed my lif~ forever. My only comfort is knowing they are together again. I figure they were in some kind of limbo and if they couldn't be together here, then it had to be there.

GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Debbie Lowther Savary